Training in Dover Harbour is tightly controlled. It’s dangerous, so it needs to be. There are officials who brand us with indelible markers, officials who tick us off as we go in and out of the sea (so they know when one of us has drowned), and officials who tell us what’s dangerous, what’s really dangerous, and what’s really, really dangerous.
In amongst all these officials is a guy with a tub of goose fat. Yes, goose fat. A guy who offers to lather us up before we hit the chilly and uninviting harbour water. I’ve never quite worked out if he is really one of the officials, or just someone who’s walked off the street and fancies lathering up the ladies (and the gents).
Channel Swimming Association rules state that goose fat is the only thing we can use to combat the cold. I’m not sure if it’s the guy or the disgusting contents of his tub that’s put us off lathering up so far, but to date we’ve gone into the water sans fat.
My point though, is that according to Channel Swimming Association rules, our lady swimmers are only allowed to wear sleeveless swimsuits that don’t extend below the crotch (ie don’t have legs), and our gentlemen swimmers (ie me) are only allowed to wear skimpy speedos. Now I’m all for equality, but I think there’s a lot more coverage (and warmth) in a swimsuit than in a pair of speedos. And, speedos is not a good look for me.
We’re aiming to do our 2-hour qualifying swim in Dover Harbour this Saturday. Whatever happens, we’re all going to be cold, very cold, and I’m going to look ridiculous.
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